February 20, 2020


I’m sharing this post by a friend, Veronia, because it says so much that is important in a few words. A compliment is not flattery but truth and because genuine compliments are spontaneous they come from the universe; the person delivering the compliment has been afforded a moment of recognition and, in return, speaks on behalf of the universe.

I was out on a birthday dinner with Jacob and one of the waitresses came up to me and complimented me about how much she loved my skin complexion.

I think this was probably the second time (the first time was at Nordland) in my entire life a stranger has ever complimented my dark skin. All my life I have been bombarded with ‘tips’ from relatives on how to make my skin lighter. Two teaspoons of turmeric, a tablespoon of yoghurt and two tablespoons of powdered chickpeas was the suggestion – a recipe apparently passed down for generations. The turmeric burnt my skin, the chickpeas dried my skin and putting yoghurt on my face was just gross.

While it came across like they were being helpful, it lowered my confidence because ultimately it was them telling me the skin colour I inherited, a big part of who I am, wasn’t good enough and that I wasn’t beautiful enough. Then there’s social media…with every celebrity out there having their pictures photoshopped to look slimmer and lighter and we’re just constantly bombarded with them. I can’t compare, I’m not even on the same league. Heck, I’ve even gone to ‘make up artists’ who’d try and make me look like a frikkin Cheeto when I asked for a foundation to match my existing skin tone.

I’ve spent years hating everything about me, especially my skin tone because that pink lip gloss that every teenage girl wore didn’t suit me and my skin tone.

It was only a few years ago that I discovered that deep red lipsticks look damn good on me. I could totally rock a black lipstick too. Since then, it was only a matter of time until I felt more comfortable in my skin and stopped caring about what people had to say about me. I don’t need compliments from strangers to make myself feel better, but it sure does feel good to hear it.
Like the waitress said, us girls got to stick together, it’s a tough world and the 20s are the worst.

I’m not going to post a selfie with this post because I was too busy enjoying birthday dinner with my husband and friends to take one. Instead I’ve added the picture I took of a mural I saw in Milan (Minnesota) a few weeks ago. I finally have something to say about it: not only is this mural beautiful, the girl in the painting is absolutely gorgeous.

Thank you to the waitress at The Oaks at Eagle Creek for taking the time to do what you did. It took you less than 15 seconds but I’m still thinking about it an hour later.